April 30

Thoughts for April……

Posted by William Berry | Filed under Blog | 6 Comments

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others. Harriet Goldhor Lerner

We cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening our own. Ben Sweetland

I wanted to end the quotes for April with a couple more about human connection (well, I didn’t start until the middle of the month, so I thought at least two). The above two quotes seem an excellent way to sum up the quotes for the month about human connection. They discuss the reciprocal relationship of how helping one another and getting to know others, we help ourselves.

To be with Tao, we need only innocence. Deng Ming-Dao

I find this to be of excellent guidance. It isn’t saying we could have done no wrong, as Tao does not pass judgment. But what it suggests is to not become cynical, to look at things as if your eyes were new, to not defend yourself by preparing for the negative. Instead, experience things with innocence. If, as some suggest, I maintain a boyish charm, this is its source.

We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection. The Dalai Lama

Most of my readers probably know my feelings about religion. I have a much fonder view of meditation. But this quote seems to go with the others I have for this month, with its focus on the human need for affection from others. It seems to me as a therapist a lot of what troubles humanity is a lack of caring and affection. Many clients present with issues related to this. As I have written before, human connection seems to me to be extremely important to our happiness and well-being. The Dalai Lama seems to see affection as integral to survival. Enjoy your connections today.

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. Mother Teresa

I love this quote, and stole it from a friend who posted it on Twitter last week. I believe this quote is an excellent way to live your life. Too many people feel playing games is necessary and if they didn’t, they couldn’t get what they want. I often say I live a charmed life, yet I believe I am a very honest, and generally transparent individual. This to me is evidence honesty and transparency work. They don’t just allow you to live a life more in accordance with any set of spiritual beliefs, but they work. Yes, you will be vulnerable. But life isn’t complete without both pleasant and unpleasant feelings.

The deepest kindness comes not from simply thinking of others, but in feeling what they feel. Deng Ming-Dao

I like this quote because it talks about the experience of empathy, about the connection with others that is so important. Feeling what others feel, connecting on that level, is one of the beautiful things of the human experience, of the gifts that separate us from other living things. This would be an excellent mindful exercise for theĀ  week, trying to connect with others by allowing ourselves to experience what they experience.

It is when you recognize in others the same human condition you experience that you are on the verge of knowing yourself. Deng Ming-Dao
I haven’t written much lately, and could list the excuses but will spare you. Instead I’d like to focus on a new type of post I will publish here occasionally, called Thought for the…..
I can’t call it thought for the day, because I doubt I will post that often. Hope you enjoy it and it provokes some thought.

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This entry was posted on Friday, April 30th, 2010 at 10:00 AM and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Thoughts for April……”

  1. Oscar on April 22nd, 2010 at 10:30 AM

    I like it. Simple yet thought provoking.

  2. William Berry on April 22nd, 2010 at 12:10 PM

    I really liked it too.
    As a therapist I find it to be very true. I often feel clients touch something I have felt in one way or another, and the experience helps me know myself better. I am charmed to work in a field which allows me to seek self-understanding and actualization while making a living helping others do the same.
    As always thanks for reading Oscar.

  3. Ursula on April 25th, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    yes, to live honestly and transparently is the ONLY way to live. i believe the existentialists had their own idea called living authentically. life is already filled with BS, why add to it? i do not understand people who do not live this way. it may piss some people off, but this is such a blessing–it weeds those persons out of your life.

  4. William Berry on April 25th, 2010 at 9:48 PM

    As always, insightful Ursula. Thank you for commenting.

  5. Ariane on April 30th, 2010 at 9:26 PM

    Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway-I’m going to try and live like this, even if it does make me vulnerable. It’s the best way to be open to new experiences and to keep that ‘childlike wonder’, since there are no more games played.

  6. William Berry on April 30th, 2010 at 10:02 PM

    Agreed, this type of outlook helps keep the childlike wonder. Thank you for the comment.

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