Comments on: Up in the Air

By: William Berry

William Berry — Mon, 03 May 2010 20:48:18 +0000

I haven’t finished it yet (a chapter to go) and he hasn’t necessarily discussed the plasticity of the brain as we understand it. But he has discussed the human power to be self aware, understand the influence of the wiring, and alter our behavior accordingly.
As for the article it was interesting. I often wonder what drives people to want to be alone so badly. I recommend “The Schopenhauer Cure” to you. Its written by Irvin Yalom, who is considered a master of therapy. You can find a review on my site. Its fictional, and addresses both existential and group therapy, as well as the philosophy or Schopenhauer, a philospher pre Nietzsche. Both Schopenhauer and a main character in the book seek a life of isolation.
Ursula you seem happy with your choices (as do some in the article you sent, although most admitted loneliness and a desire to partner, and some actually returned to some sort of society to do so). I don’t wish to pathologize isolation. For some people it is an unhealthy defense, for others a genuine healthy choice. I certainly hope your is the latter.

By: Ursula

Ursula — Mon, 03 May 2010 20:05:18 +0000

Yes, humans are social beings. I am well aware of this and many times have i reckoned this within my own personal context. I was going to include that in my post, but i deemed that adding such would render my post too lengthy. Regarding the book you are reading: as i understand it, the brain is highly plastic and adaptable. Does the author speak to this?

Interesting NY times article about living in isolation and insight from those who do:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/15/garden/15alone.html

No problem about disclosing: all in the name of heuristics.

By: William Berry

William Berry — Mon, 03 May 2010 14:25:07 +0000

You make excellent points Ursula. My only argument would be that you (and a small minority of others like you) are the exceptions to the rule. Generally humans are social animals. I’m finishing an excellent book about brain wiring that makes an argument (which is only supportive to its main argument) that we are wired as social animals. Because of this I argue that connections, even the pseudo connections, make life more tolerable for most people.
As always you make excellent points, and I appreciate you disclosing your diverse experience, as others may relate to you as well.

By: Ursula

Ursula — Mon, 03 May 2010 12:03:22 +0000

I never saw this movie. I am not arguing what this movie is about, but merely pointing out that I disagree that human bonds are the pinnacle of what makes life go ’round. some of the best times in my life I can say that I wasn’t with someone. I remember taking the greyhound alone to south carolina(lovingly called ‘the dog’ by truckers) and travelling meagerly; i felt like a quasi-nomad. Now, i meet some interesting characters on the bus: a trucker, some kid, a convict turning himself in… the point is that i do not think i made connections with these people…more of an observation (and i mean that in the least autistic way possible). I do not know. It takes a hell of a lot for me to make a connection to someone. And feigned relationships would subtract–not add–to my quality of life.

But the point i am trying to make here is that for me–and i am sure that there are others–it is not ALL about connections. (though it can be argued that i am actually ‘connecting’ with myself whilst on my lonely excursions) But then again, to be comprehensive and cover all boundaries, i’ll scrutinize my own condition: i am an only child, avoidant, and hell, maybe a little autistic. So perhaps this is why i think the way i do.