Recently I was lucky enough to attend a John Mayer concert. As I was excited about it, I mentioned it to quite a few people. In response to my enthusiasm two of my clients and several of my students remarked that they didn’t like him. Curious, I inquired as to why. The response that those who disliked him gave related to his behavior in regard to women, not to his musical talent. I have to admit I think I relate to John Mayer. As my latest attempt at a committed relationship has come to an end I will discuss why …

Story by Wm. Berry with Very Special Thanks to Belinda Paez for Editing

He stood and looked out over the ocean. He loved the water, the sand, and the memories it brought back; memories of fishing in the Delaware Bay with his grandfather and memories of his youth.   That was all so long ago.  His grandfather had died some thirty years before.  He himself was now a grandfather, but there had been no more fishing trips. He hadn’t done that since his grandfather died. It seemed it couldn’t be that long ago. Time had moved too quickly.  And now, time …

Most who have taken a psychology theories class in college have heard of therapist Irvin Yalom. He is one of the leading writers on Existential Therapy. His book “The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy” is owned (because it is required reading) by every therapist I know with a graduate degree. Not only is Yalom the master therapist that I most respect but he’s become one of my favorite authors, and more so after reading his fictional novel, The Schopenhauer Cure.
The Schopenhauer Cure centers on a therapist that finds out …

I was a pretty ordinary guy, at least I believed myself to be so. I had experienced a rough path in my earlier life, which resulted in my turn toward a search for enlightenment. I guess its best to start there. My name was Joseph Egareva.

I was born in 1960 to working class parents. My dad was a truck driver, my mom a homemaker. I was the oldest, and following four years of being an only child, my sister was born. About 10 years later another sister was added to the Egareva family. My childhood didn’t have any significant events worth mentioning. Of course there were family arguments, fights with my sister, parental marital discord, but most of this was …

I have been ruminating about death. Perhaps it is one of the books I am currently reading, “The Schopenhauer Cure” by Yalom. Or maybe it’s the continued failing of my senses (I walk around with cheater glasses on while at home almost the whole time. I can barely read a text on my phone without getting closer to the sun for direct light). Perhaps it is the frequency with which I have been visiting heights, and the impending threat of sky diving. Or, perhaps it is in my nature and existential leanings. Whatever the reason, I am ruminating.
Most …

Recently someone requested I write an article about loneliness. I wasn’t sure what to write. Then I watched the first season of “Californication” and was feeling a little down myself and figured I could parlay that into an article.

First it is important to identify two types of loneliness. People can feel lonely because they are missing someone or are simply alone when they would prefer to be with someone else. The other type of loneliness is more pervasive and is felt even when in the company of many others. As both types can be distressing, this …

Maybe I’m just getting old. Not since my twenties have I found myself feeling so disrespected by those younger. In fact, I have made it a point not to be so hung up on respect. Let me start with my late twenties.
In my late twenties I began working in the field of substance abuse, basically as a mental health technician at an adolescent rehabilitation center (for those uninitiated in this terminology, that’s simply a glorified babysitter. I would make sure they brushed their teeth, went to the required activities, went, and stayed in bed). I would talk to them when they had a crisis, and this was the beginning of my counseling career. One of my predominant feelings during …

Recently I was driving with my sons and I allowed my oldest to choose the CD we would listen to. He chose “Darkness on the Edge of Town” by Bruce Springsteen. After a song or two I asked him if he was depressed, because that CD is particularly dark (although much of Springsteen is similar). He replied that he was not at all. I discussed with him the fact that I know most of the words because I used to listen to Springsteen non-stop. I reminisced about how in my late twenties I ran into a girl I dated briefly at 18, and as the light bulb …

A recent topic in my groups has been whether group members are escaping or embracing life. It is difficult to differentiate at times which an individual might be doing. It is my contention that in a large number of cases it is more about the attitude than the activity.

The group where we have been having this discussion is for substance abusers. Recently I wrote a chapter in the book I’m working on about harm reduction and used a similar group as an example for that phenomenon. The reason I used that group as an example is because some …

As many of you know, I have been working on a book combining my education as a therapist, my experience in the field of addiction, and some personal experience to create a book about addiction recovery. You may also remember I recently promised to begin providing some excerpts from it in this new year. This is the first. I wrote this recently when finishing a chapter on family therapy. Although it addresses what a parent of someone addicted might …