During the break between Spring Semester and Summer B, while I wasn’t teaching for the first time in years, I read the book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.” It’s actually a strange story how I came to read it.
Most of my readers know I rarely read fiction. But this book was a long time in coming. I have been into Zen, to various degrees, for more than 20 years. When I was relative neonate to Zen, having only read one or two books, people would always ask “Have you read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance?” I would always answer “no” of course. Then the next time I was in a book store I’d pick it up and read a little: a little in the beginning, then a little in the middle, as I do with any book I might be interested in. Without fail the several times I did this I returned “Zen…” back to the shelf. I had relatively no interest. Recently I’ve done this with “The Power of Now” at least as many times (and I still have little interest. People’s encouragement gets me to pick it up, but I have inevitably returned it to the shelf). When I picked up this book “Zen…”, it just never grabbed me.
So right before I’m about to leave for Puerto Rico my girlfriend and I are in Borders where she hopes to purchase a book for the trip. While browsing the discount section, I run across a hard copy edition of “Zen…” for $7.99. How can anyone pass up a hard cover edition of a classic for that price? I couldn’t, hence I finally read it.
First I’d like to say that “Zen…” is much more a work of literature than any type of instruction on Zen. In fact, unless you are already into Zen and if it weren’t in the title, you probably wouldn’t notice it had a Zen attitude at all. It seems to be much more about philosophy in relation to the Greeks (Plato, Socrates, Aristotle) than to Eastern philosophy.
The book, without giving too much away, focuses on an extended road trip on a motorcycle between a father and his minor son. There is also a great deal about a guy from the narrator’s past who was a college professor teaching English, and in particular, rhetorical response. There are other characters that vary from lasting half the book or who are purely peripheral. The story vacillates between the motorcycle trip, the remembrance of this professor, and some theories of logic and philosophy. There is some very deep thinking in the book, and it certainly went over my head from time to time (that might not be as difficult as you think). Although I struggled with some of the philosophical and logic discussion at times, it did not deter me from the story, and all in all, I did not feel it detracted from this being a great modern work of literature.
I have been discussing an idea for a book with a peer who tells a written story in a much better fashion than I. I believe this book inspired me further to try to tell the story, as this was very well written and often riveted me to the tale. As someone who doesn’t read much fiction I am leery of making strong statements about it. But this book seems like an excellent read to me, and as it has sold millions and millions of copies all over the world for over 30 years, I do not believe I am taking much of a leap. But I caution my reader that they are reading a story, and they shouldn’t expect too much in guidance toward Zen, or current motorcycle maintenance for that matter.
As an aside, if you decide to read the book, which seems to be based on some actual events in the author’s life, I suggest you also read the afterward. It is sad but very real.

I took my 16 year old out for his birthday (his actual birthday was a while ago, but with our schedules it was tough to schedule a full night alone with him before now). After dinner and some shopping, we discussed seeing a movie. He wanted to see “Get Him to the Greek.” I had read some pretty poor reviews, but had no problem seeing it. The reviews indicated the movie tried to do too much. They felt it aspired to be a comedy in the “Hangover” style but also tried to squeeze in weightier issues like a substance abuse problem and parent issues.
I had recently read another article interviewing Russell Brand who reprises his role from “Forgetting Sara Marshall” as a rock star for the plot of this movie (I still don’t know why I am receiving Rolling Stone magazine). The article discusses Brand’s real-life struggles with substance dependence (including heroin) and with sex addiction and bulimia. I liked the article, and I relate to Brand’s approach to life now. He talks about keeping his addictive personality at bay by attending 12 step meetings, working out, keeping busy, meditating, and writing (two autobiographies) as well as currently filming a documentary on happiness. I related to both the article and the film in the personality portrayed, and perhaps that led me to liking the film more.
I thought the film did a good job of portraying the life of an addict as well as a film can and remain a comedy. There are times the film (and an addict’s life) is all fun and laughs. But at some point the movie indicates that drugs are a serious issue for the main character. This is evidenced by Aldous Snow (Brand’s character) explaining to Aaron Green (Jonah Hill’s character) the importance of drugs. The explanation, which of course I cannot remember exactly and research failed to produce, went something like this:
Your life must be full of a laundry list of worries and things to consider. Where is your life going? Is this person the one to be with? So on and so forth. But my life has one concern. Do you know what the one word is? Drugs. My life is simple.
Although perhaps a slight exaggeration of the drug dependent person’s life, it does often seem that way. Drugs become the most important thing, often the only thing that really matters. Of course there are other concerns, but they are secondary to the drug and getting high. This is often felt by those around the active addict, even if the addict can’t recognize it themselves.
Another aspect of the film I thought was accurate was the self-centered nature of the substance user. Aldous Snow manipulates Aaron to get what he wants. This is more than evident in the film, and although it can be chocked up to his being a spoiled rock star and being used to being spoiled, it is often also true of those with substance issues.
During the course of the film Aldous also begins to confront some of the issues that underlie his addiction. He addresses issues with his parents, broken dreams, and rationalizations for his behavior of a too intelligent man. The issue that seems core to many with addictions is a tremendous loneliness that he can’t seem to satiate. The idea of self-medication is also mentioned, as Aldous hasn’t experienced real emotion in some time. There are even some of drawbacks of addiction recovery in the film, such as when a person is too honest about previous wrongs to free their own guilt, without consideration of the injured party.
Overall I feel the film was a good one. It has some genuinely funny moments, some funny dialogue, and it addresses to a small extent what it is like when someone is in an addiction. It seemed obvious to me with my knowledge of addiction and recovery that the film makers had some experience with the topic. In the interview Brand admits the director and writer took stories from his life. It seems to me there is more than that. Perhaps Brand’s personal experience propels the story onto the screen making it more true to addiction. Or perhaps other than just stories Brand talked with them about his personal feelings and thoughts in regard to addiction and addiction recovery. Whatever accounts for the true aspects of addiction in the film, they are there and in my opinion it adds to the film’s depth rather than detracting from its attempts at humor. After all, isn’t life made up of comedy and tragedy?

I initially picked up this book because the back cover presented it as a theory that explained how we create God and spiritual realms to combat our fear of death. As an existential therapist I found this intriguing. In this regard the book did not disappoint.
The book begins with a brief summary of evolution (what argument that did not denounce the existence of a supreme being would be complete without some sort of recognition of evolution?) I found this short (in relation to the amount of years it took for it to occur) history an adequate review, but a bit lengthy. I suppose I assume that any person willing to read a book of this title would already have a basic knowledge of evolution. Besides, I was anxious for his argument to start.
The substantial section of the book utilizes brain science and anthropology to explain the author’s argument for their being; you know its coming, the part of the brain that leads us to believe in spiritual reality. His argument is very well laid out. In fact, I found it too much so at times. In philosophical and scientific argument there is sometimes overkill. The same point is made and reiterated, then built upon, then reiterated and built upon some more. This can grow tiring for the casual reader. However, on the upside of this, it does demonstrate the continuity of his argument and often reiteration precedes learning.
His argument is excellent and, if one is so inclined, would easily provide much ammunition to the atheist reader who wants to have a solid argument for their point. I believe his argument is also persuasive enough that a true agnostic (someone who feels there is not enough evidence to prove, and at the same time cannot disprove the existence of a God) may also be swayed. There are some weaknesses in some of his arguments, especially at the end of the book, where he discusses the usefulness of his theory. This brings me to my final thoughts and concerns.
I imagine this book will have little effect on anyone who is religious. This might be a biased opinion, but evolution has had little impact, and a faith in the unknown is much stronger in some than what science can show. My concern would be for those who are somewhat spiritual or religious, but who might be swayed. If someone bought into his theory, and gave up whatever religious or spiritual beliefs they may have had, they may feel a void that the book is not able to fill. This is despite the few short chapters which were spent focusing more on proving the downside of religion than the upside of facing the reality of death.
As a professor I often confront my class (in appropriate classes) with existential theory and the fact they will eventually cease to exist. Often this is met with accusations of being morbid, sadistic, or simply mean. The point is not to depress people, but to help them see the impermanence of existence, so they are able to more fully embrace their life. But the fear of death is strong. In fact, this is part of the author’s argument. I believe at times it is so strong those uninitiated with the reality of death (in most religions there is a continuation of the individual’s personality in some form, helping to deny the reality of death) might find life meaningless, rather than more meaningful. The author attempts to combat this with some insightful words, but I’m unsure if it is enough.
In conclusion I recommend this book to everyone, despite some of my misgivings. I have always believed knowledge is power, and to borrow a quote the author also borrows from Lao Tzu: Knowledge of others is intelligence; knowledge of self is wisdom. Mastery of others is strength; mastery of self is power.

Art by Alexi Berry

I recently watched the critically acclaimed movie “Up in the Air.” When it was over and I had time to ruminate about it, I wondered what the point of the movie was. What was the author trying to say about human existence? If you haven’t seen it and plan to, you want to stop reading now. I hope you’ll return following your viewing of it. In this article I will discuss what I found to be the meaning of it film and some of the pivotal moments I believe support my interpretation.
A little while into the movie, George Clooney’s character (Ryan Bingham) meets the young apprentice (played by Anna Kendrick, character Natalie). While she is challenging his lifestyle of superficial relationships, one of her challenges is “do you want to die alone?” Ryan replies after some other discussion, “make no mistake, we all die alone.” This is a telling piece of dialogue, as it seems to resonate with the existential theme of the movie.
Ryan’s firm is hired when a company needs people fired, and they don’t want to do it themselves. Ryan is one of the best at feigning concern and trying to make the transition more palatable for the terminated employee. He does this by creating an artificial and brief bond. He describes his job as something like ushering lost souls out of the darkness so they can see the light of hope, then pushing them out of the boat and making them swim.
Ryan leads a solitary life by any standards. He is on the road (or in the air) most days of the year. His absence from the family is evident when his sister has her boyfriend’s uncle giving her away at the wedding rather than him. Ryan avoids family phone calls despite his approaching sisters wedding. He is single and has no significant romantic relationship, although you can decide if he develops one during the movie. He has no friends identified during the length of the film. He also gives lectures called “What’s in your Backpack” during which he advocates “carrying” as little as possible. He describes human relationships as the heaviest possession anyone carries. His belief system advocates being free from relational and possession “baggage”.
If you have seen the film the above statements are all obvious. No interpretation is needed. Now I’d like to look a little deeper into the movie. First, every relationship in the movie is a failed one, with the exception of his sister whose wedding is taking place in the movie. He has another sister who is separated from her husband. His young apprentice gave up a lucrative job in San Francisco to follow her boyfriend to Omaha, and he dumped her via text message. The woman who shows potential as a love interest for Ryan is married. In essence there isn’t one successful long-term relationship portrayed in film. This seems to indicate that the movie realizes that relationships are transitory, a lot like the movie’s main character.
But I do not believe this is the point of the movie. It is my contention that the point of the movie is that although many relationships end and many others are artificial, that these relationships still make life better. Beyond this theme I believe another is that everyone seeks a sense of belonging.
There are two pivotal moments in the movie that support my contention about the first theme. The first is when Ryan speaks to his sister’s fiancé when he gets cold feet the day of the wedding. The groom asks Ryan what the point of life is. Ryan, after stumbling for words a bit, says there is no point. Time is going to pass, you are going to grow old, and you will die. But then he beckons him, “think about the happiest days in your life. Were you alone?” As the conversation develops it becomes obvious the best times in the groom’s life were with others. There is no mention of who he was with, and no evidence this is important. Simply the fact he was with others makes life better.
A second pivotal moment is when Ryan has his big opportunity in speaking about “What is in Your Backpack”. Most of his lectures are small time, with only a few attendees. He gets invited to speak in Las Vegas, and comes out to a big room packed with people. He begins his spiel but seems to realize he’s not feeling the same and decides not to continue the lecture. He leaves before getting too far into his presentation to visit the woman he’s feeling some attachment to. This doesn’t go well. Yet you get the idea that this is important to the theme of the movie: although he won’t be settling down with her, the temporary connection, or simply the interaction, is what made life better for that time.
The event in the movie that leads me to believe that a second theme is a sense of belonging is that Ryan, even in all of his self proclaimed healthy isolation, wants to belong. The people at the airline check-in welcome him by name because of his status with them. His goal is to attain enough miles to be a member in a more elite club than those who have walked on the moon; those that have attained 10,000,000 miles, is further evidence of this. He eventually becomes number seven in this club. Perhaps it is his disconnection from most common forms of relationship that makes him want to be accepted in one so elite. Regardless of the motivation, he wants to belong somewhere.
As a final argument to my contention about the meaning of the movie I ask the reader to reflect on the internet firings that are the impetus behind the plot of the movie. The character Natalie is a wunderkind. She develops a way to save the company millions. Rather than flying all over the country, these specialists can simply use an internet hook-up which allows face to face (via computer) interaction to do their firing. Think about this a minute. A person who you do not know and have never seen at the company is already firing you. Now, it is being done via the internet. What was your first reaction to this when you watched the movie (or read it here)? Mine was absolutely negative. What I find important about this is that by feeling the internet firing is so outrageous, I am buying into the fact that a brief and feigned bond is better than the seemingly colder experience of an internet firing. This is also evident in Natalie’s boyfriend breaking up with her via text message. The theme is consistent in this film. Some things are better in person, even if they still are difficult and horrendously unpleasant.
Although I was not as enthralled with the movie as many of the critics I heard or read, I do believe it makes an excellent point: human connection, even through brief and artificial bonds, make life more enjoyable (or tolerable, depending on your perspective). Additionally, even when relationships don’t last forever, as I’ve discussed many times in prior articles, they are still essential to life and beneficial to the growth process. I have two questions for those that saw the movie: At the end of the movie Ryan stands in front of a board with flights and destinations. Was he going back to work as usual, or taking his young apprentice’s advice and cashing in some miles to go somewhere else in the world? If he was going back to work, did he return to his speech about the backpack? I’d love to hear your interpretation and comments.

Special thanks to the editor of this review.

Most who have taken a psychology theories class in college have heard of therapist Irvin Yalom. He is one of the leading writers on Existential Therapy. His book “The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy” is owned (because it is required reading) by every therapist I know with a graduate degree. Not only is Yalom the master therapist that I most respect but he’s become one of my favorite authors, and more so after reading his fictional novel, The Schopenhauer Cure.
The Schopenhauer Cure centers on a therapist that finds out he’s terminally ill and so begins his quest to obtain the answers that will impart the meaning of his life and the need to continue his work until the end. He seeks out past patients, hoping they will provide him affirmation that what he did for them had mattered eventually, even though it had not at the time. After reconnecting with a patient he had treated for years but who did not improve, the two begin to build on a renewed professional relationship.
Alternating chapters integrate the story of the German philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer, into a seamless narrative that relates back to the therapist and the group he is counseling. Schopenhauer’s intelligent and articulate musings, while pessimistic, educate the reader and allow insight into one of the members. With the therapist’s approaching death one processes this inevitable occurrence and the experiences one might expect as life slips quickly away. With a spattering of Buddhist philosophy Yalom’s literary style has meshed the works of these great thinkers into a glimpse of the lives of individual group patients; to showcase group therapy work at its best. It is a totally thought provoking, entertaining and engaging read.
I am an existential therapist, I council groups and I basically adhere to the Buddhist philosophy so this book directly related to what I love. I generally don’t read fiction novels, sticking more to the academic, so I’m uncertain if there would be appeal to a wider audience. However, The Schopenhauer Cure does seem to offer all the elements that make a great peruse; a storyline that touches on the tense and sometimes heartbreaking fragility of the human psyche, believable situations, and touching moments as relationships are explored. Additionally the book was recommended to me by a client who studies literature. I found the book engrossing and would particularly recommend it to my fellow therapists who would enjoy seeing our chosen career portrayed in fictional literature. And I would endorse it for anyone that has even a remedial interest in philosophy and appreciation for authors that can spin a tale with characters you’ll find yourself caring for.

Photo by Alexi Berry******** Model: Ian Berry

This is both a review of Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning” and a response to some of its ideas. First, the book is definitely worth reading. For those unfamiliar with Viktor Frankl, he was an Eastern European Jewish psychiatrist who was placed in a concentration camp during World War I. He suffered all the indignities of anyone in a concentration camp, short of being killed. And he used the experience to provide evidence for his method of therapy, “Logotherapy,” a form of existential therapy. Many of you may already be familiar with this book, as it is often required reading in high school and for many other classes. I did not read this work until recently.

I was first introduced to the ideas of Viktor Frankl when I took a course in an undergrad course called “Theories of Counseling.” It was a broad overview of many of the biggest theories of therapy. Frankl was mentioned as one of the major contributors to Existential Therapy. At the time I was not really impressed with the ideas of existential theory, and considered myself more of a cognitive behavioral counselor. But despite being cognitive in my approach, I gleaned from Frankl’s story (presented briefly in the text we used) that some of his thinking was in line with cognitive behavioral theory.

Frankl believed that although the Nazi’s could impose much suffering on him, could take away his family, and could imprison him, they could not decide how he would be. He had control over the way he would act, react, and behave. No matter what they did, he would decide his behavior and be responsible for it.

This is a cornerstone tenet of existential therapy (as well as cognitive therapy). Existential theory proposes the individual is empowered, and is responsible for how they behave. One of the goals of existential therapy is for the client to gain insight into themselves and what unconscious motives contribute to decisions (especially those that are ultimately detrimental) so that the individual can make educated decisions about how to be.

There is an excellent story Frankl tells in the book that emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility for actions. The story occurs when he and a peer are free from the concentration camp and are making their way toward the allied forces. The peer was dragging Frankl through a field when the came upon new crops. Frankl stopped, not wanting to trample the new crops. When he mentioned something about this to his peer, he retorted “You don’t say! And hasn’t enough been taken from us? My wife and child have been gassed-  not to mention everything else…” What I believe Frankl to be saying here is even though grave injustice has been done to you, it is not an excuse to act in kind. Beyond that, should you decide to behave in an ill fashion, you are responsible for those actions.

Frankl’s focus here is not to judge others misdeeds, but instead to discuss how you can behave differently than you may have the impulse to. His focus was also on helping those who have experienced the horrors of a concentration camp (or any similar horror) to overcome the feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness, and disillusionment.

My intention is neither to abbreviate the book for you, nor to explain the concepts of existential therapy, so I will move here to my review and response to Frankl’s book. First, I want to reiterate that this book is an excellent read. For anyone unfamiliar with the atrocities of a concentration camp, the story of human triumph in the face of such atrocities alone is worth the read. It also provides a guideline to empower individuals to take responsibility for their life, and to create meaning in it. It provides a model of living above the influence of circumstance.

There is so much good in this book, it is hard to be the least bit critical. In fact, I’m not sure that I am critical in my response as much as I offer an alternative view or solution. Frankl spends a large part of the second half of the book looking at suffering and its possible meaning. He also goes beyond what we may understand as its meaning, to the meaning we may never know (but a higher being might). He also makes it clear that “to suffer unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.” (p.113). His point throughout the book is that suffering need not be in vain, there is always meaning in it, one must just assign meaning (considering of course you are not suffering unnecessarily).

There is much in this book that relates to my philosophy of life. I plan on adding a new site soon (I will keep my readers posted and announce its launch in a blog) dedicated to short tidbits (rather than long blogs or articles) which hopefully bring about thought and discussion. And I have already tagged this book for several of those posts. But suffering is a topic I have mixed thoughts about.

As I stated above, Frankl spends a great deal of the second part of the book devoted to this topic. And he provides wonderful arguments regarding this culture’s turning of suffering into pathology. I agree that those that have legitimate reasons for their suffering should not be regarded as having pathology. I also agree that happiness is sold, portrayed as normal, and likely over represented in the media. I also agree that possibly those who are legitimately suffering may have reason to feel like outcasts when they are not happy as a result of these aforementioned representations.

Perhaps it is my affinity for the Buddhist doctrine that suffering can be overcome that results in my disagreement with some of Frankl’s thoughts on suffering. Perhaps it is my desire for everyone to find happiness in their lives which results in my difficulty. Or perhaps Frankl and I aren’t as far apart on this as I have been thinking.

In his book Frankl provides plenty of examples of legitimate suffering: both unimaginable (the concentration camp, a Rabbi who lost his first wife and six children) and more common (a mother raising a disabled son, a husband losing his wife of many years, and others). I would never deny people their need to suffer for legitimate reasons. These are certainly terrible events that result in grief, require mourning, and should be given their adequate emotional due.

There are two things that concern me. The first is that many suffer unnecessarily. It seems to me that many believe that martyrdom is a way of life. I have witnessed far too many people who relish in being martyrs, although they’d never admit it. These people believe they must sacrifice for some reason. In short, they suffer needlessly (or for the payoff).

The second concern is that those who are suffering would benefit from acknowledging that to some extent they are choosing to suffer. I am not saying their circumstances weren’t thrust upon them (although a favorite quote of mine from Eckert Tolle is “Acceptance of what is… as if you have chosen it to be exactly as it is.”). I am saying that to some extent they are choosing this response. This is not necessarily unhealthy, in fact, often it is the healthiest choice. But my point is that it is a choice.

When I say that perhaps Frankl and I aren’t as far apart as I may think, I am referring to two things. The first is his acknowledgement that to suffer unnecessarily is not heroic. Perhaps my first concern is addressed in this acknowledgement. Frankl was obviously influenced by a time of immense suffering. He, and many others (in fact many of those he was addressing in his work) endured horrible suffering. It is true many endure horrible suffering today. And I would not want to minimize anyone’s true suffering. But I still believe much of today’s suffering is unnecessary, and would be better addressed through acceptance.

The second reason Frankl and I may not be as far apart as I might think is his existential view that everyone is responsible for their responses and behavior. Frankl made it clear throughout this book that individuals are responsible for their behavior, no matter what has been thrust upon them. If suffering is considered a response or behavior, than the person is choosing, to some extent, to suffer. And that would reconcile my second concern.

I want to end this review with another quote by Eckert Tolle regarding suffering. I must admit I am making these quotes second hand, as I have not read his work beyond a few passages. The quote is as follows:
“Is suffering really necessary? Yes and No.
If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. You would not be reading this now. Suffering cracks open the shell of ego, and then comes a point where it has served his purpose.
Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.”

Bottom line, read the book.

From the back of the cd cover for "electro-shock blues"

As many of my readers know, I recently became a fan of “The Eels.” And, as most of my regular readers know, I am an existential therapist and someone who tries to promote understanding of how the idea of death can make life more vital. Imagine my happiness when a cd I ordered combined the two.

When introduced to The Eels I pointed out some of their existential themes, and discussed their song “Hey Man (Now You’re Really Living)” on my blog. I looked into buying some of their older cds, as my girlfriend had bought “Meet the Eels” for me, which is a compilation of some of their bigger hits. Following my birthday (I often get in trouble for buying myself stuff the weeks before it) I decided to order used copies from “Alibris” (an Amazon like site I stumbled upon). I ordered their first cd, “Beautiful Freak”(96) and their second cd “Electro-Shock Blues”(98) based on reviews I had read. It is, as you have ascertained from the title, the second cd I am so impressed by.

It is important to understand the context this cd was written in. At the time of the writing and recording, E (the real genius and as best I can tell the only steady member of the band) had experienced the loss of his sister to suicide, and his mother was diagnosed with cancer. He was faced with being the only remaining member of his family. Additionally, it seems some friends had also perished. I highly recommend reading the comic book like account of how the band (and more so) the album Electro-Shock Blues came into being at http://www.eelstheband.com/story/title.html

The cd is haunting in its lyrics and song titles. It begins with “Elizabeth on the Bathroom Floor.” According to Wikipedia, this song comes from one of his sister’s final diary entries. “Going to Your Funeral, Pt. 1,” then “Cancer for the Cure” follows. Other titles sure to put off casual listeners are “My Descent Into Madness” and “Hospital Food.”

Some of the themes also resonate of grief and loss. The song “3 Speed” is about E wondering what is going on with his sister and her depression when he is a child. Other songs also focus on her depression, like the album title song, which seems to reflect a day of his sister’s life in the mental institution.

I love the quote from E on the webpage above about the album: “if ‘Beautiful Freak’ was our greeting card to the world, then ‘Electro Shock Blues’ is the phone call in the middle of the night that the world doesn’t want to answer.” It seems obvious he is discussing how many want to ignore death, and this album confronts the listener with it, perhaps waking them up to life itself.

I do not want to give the impression the album is morbid (although many think any discussion of death is such). On the site above E proclaims that he faces the demons (death) head on. He calls death “the greatest American taboo since sex.” And in the end he embraces life. This is existential therapy. This is what all the existential writers are saying when they try to get the point across that “Although the physicality of death destroys us, the idea of death saves us” (Yalom). The album ends with a message of hope. This album was E’s goodbye to his family. He used poetry from his grandmother, drawings by his father (who died when E was 19), and writings by his sister. It is an excellent album and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to grapple with these existential issues.

The book I have recommended the most in the last year is “Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death” by Irvin Yalom. This book uses Existential theory (by one of the most recent masters, Yalom) to discuss a healthier view of death, and how the idea of death can make life more fulfilling. I consider this book a must read.

My favorite book for those suffering with depression is titles “The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself From Chronic Unhappiness” by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn. It uses Eastern meditative techniques and psychology to help the reader overcome depression.

Generally, I don’t read fiction. But when something is given to me I will. I would say my most recommended piece of fiction is “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. But most of you have probably already read it.

For overall self improvement, I have two recommendations:

“No Ordinary Moments” by Dan Millman combines spiritual aspects with basic tried and true psychology to create a beautiful map to inner peace and happiness.

“The Voice of Knowledge” by Don Miguel Ruiz is another excellent book that is geared at inner peace.

If you’d like to peer into what goes through a therapist’s mind in the course of therapy, I highly recommend Yalom’s “Love’s Executioner.” It is 10 tales of therapy and what Yalom was thinking and experiencing. He allows the reader to see into his negative thoughts as well, so it isn’t sugar-coated.

One of my favorite books about Zen is Zen 24/7: All Zen, All the Time by Phillip Toshio Sudo. I think it’s an excellent introduction to Zen, as it describes how everyday tasks relate to Zen. It’s an easy read, with tasks like “Zen Shaving” or “Zen Makeup” being no more than a page. The same author wrote “Zen Sex” which I also highly recommend as an introduction to Zen philosophy as posited by Zen Master Ikkyu Sojun and its focus on the present moment. Another favorite Zen book, especially for those also influenced by counter-culture is “Hardcore Zen” by Brad Warner. I believe the subtitle “Punk Rock, Monster Movies, and the Truth about Reality” says a lot.

My favorite book on Taosim is “The Tao is Silent” by Raymond M. Smullyan. It’s very philosophical in its approach, in the true meaning of philosophical argument. (Philosophy means the love of words and meaning). Another favorite Taoism book (and the first I ever read, about 23 years ago) is “The Tao of Inner Peace” by Diane Dreher. It provides exercises to bring one closer to the way of Tao. A more modern book providing thoughts on living Taoism today is Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. Although at times I found him a bit hokey, I enjoyed how he explained the Tao Te Ching and provided examples of how to apply it in everyday life. I have always had an affinity for books that provide brief readings that can be done in one short sitting and provide food for thought for the day. This is definitely one of these (as is Zen 24/7 above).

“The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff is another decent book introducing Taoism to the western mind, especially those familiar with and embracing of Winnie the Pooh.

For those interested in just applying Eastern philosophical thought (whether Buddhist, Zen, or Taoist) to their lives, I recommend “Mountains are Mountains and Rivers are Rivers: Applying Eastern Teachings to Everyday Life” edited by Ilana Rabinowitz. It is a compilation of short writing by some great teachers of Eastern thought. For a more technical view, I recommend the reader to “The Tao of Physics” by Fritjof Capra. This book explores similarities between Eastern mysticism and the science of physics.

As for addiction recovery, there are a few that are excellent. My absolute favorite is “One Breath at a Time” by Kevin Griffin. This book is essential reading for anyone in recovery, or helping those in recovery, who find the Western Judeo Christian slant of the 12 step programs like AA or NA distasteful. It combines alcohol recovery through the 12 step program with Buddhist ideals. The author was / is a Buddhist who entered recovery, but wanted to reinterpret the 12 step program for those having difficulty with the Western God concept.

For understanding how addiction affects thinking, I do not believe there is a better book than “Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self-Deception” by Abraham Twerski. Dr. Twerski is a Rabbi psychiatrist with tremendous expertise in addiction treatment. He explains thought distortions common to addicts in clear language, and the book can be read in its entirety in less than a couple hours.

For an understanding of the recovery process, I recommend “Passages Through Recovery” by Terence Gorski. There is a great deal of wisdom in this short book, which explains the recovery process and pitfalls an addict is likely to experience once abstaining from substances.

For a look at how addiction recovery relates to self-actualization, I recommend “The Hierarchy of Recovery” by Robert Helgoe. This book is packed with fresh wisdom regarding the recovery process and the benefits to be gained on this path.

I hope to add my own book to this list in the coming year. It will combine aspects from these books with anecdotal and sometimes humorous stories of treatment. As of right now, I have a workbook for a person entering recovery to use with a therapist which utilizes some of the theories above along with others from my and my coauthor’s experience. It is available for $23.50 plus shipping and handling by contacting me through this website.

For a few great laughs I highly recommend “You are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day” by Pratt and Dikkers. Just be sure you have a bit of a demented sense of humor and your self-esteem is in tact before reading it. It is strictly for laughs.

Of course this is not an extensive list of readings, and I hope to add to it as I continue to read, and as other books I have read come to mind. But before closing this section, I have a few books that I strongly suggest the reader avoid: The first is “The Tao of Jung.” I love Taoism, and I love Jungian psychology. This book doesn’t do justice to either.

Another is “The Tao of Recovery.” Perhaps it was high expectations, but this book fell far short of what I hoped for. “Seinfeld and Philosophy” is another that tries to combine subjects I thought I would love and falls short. This isn’t all bad, it introduces some of the great thinkers to the naive reader who enjoys Seinfeld, and a few of the character / philosophy studies were good. But I would suggest avoiding any book that combines popular television shows and philosophy (I also recently saw on the shelf the Simpson’s and Philosophy among others).

Please check this section (Reviews) once in a while for updates and more in depth reviews.

In this blog I’d like to discuss the movie in a general way, and its relation to therapy.
The movie is about death. If you haven’t read the synopsis, it’s about two sisters with a difficult relationship who start up a business cleaning up crime scenes when the police are done. There’s a little more about death in it, but I don’t want to give too much away.

In existential theory a predominant belief is that the fear of death underlies most of our psychological issues. And I have a firm belief we spend a great deal of time attempting to ignore our transient nature in this reality. We keep ourselves super busy, often believing we will be happy in the future. “I’ll be happy when I am married,” “I’ll enjoy life when I’m retired,” are just a couple of examples of things I’ve heard regarding minimal contentment now and believing a future event will make someone happy. We often act as if we will never die, not enjoying life in the moment.

I have a tattoo which reads “Memento Mori.” It is Latin for remember your death. When I have told people about it I often hear “that is morbid!” I disagree. I try to keep in mind my time is limited, as is all of ours, and I try to live my life to the fullest. But the statement of others supports my belief that most folks want to ignore death, especially their own. In therapy it is my goal that others will embrace their lives. This often requires facing their death. For a great book about facing your personal fear of death, see Yalom’s “Staring at the Sun”.

To me “Sunshine Cleaning” is a symbol for this ignoring of death. The main characters have not fully grieved the losses in their life, instead doing what they felt the death meant, taking care of the responsibility. And their job is to erase the physical evidence of the death from their clients’ homes or businesses.

For tax advice, please see an accountant.

I’m interested in any comments, especially from those that have seen the movie. If you leave a comment and have seen the movie, let me know if you read this before or after in your comment please.

Enjoy.

In my blog I reference an article on students cheating  that discusses the alarming number of students who do cheat and their lack of remorse. In a comment I wrote on that blog I referenced another article that discusses an experiment about cheating that is really interesting. I recently watched an episode of “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” and a senator named Christopher Dodd initially vehemently denied having anything to do with the AIG bonuses. Then the next day explained now he realizes after reviewing the documents he did, and how he could have vehemently denied the accusation a day earlier.

Sure, people are upset about his involvement, and how he has accepted much in contributions from Fannie Mae. But what concerns me is the trend of denying until confronted with the truth.

I am accustomed to this in my work with people with addictions. They will sometimes deny drug use even past evidence being presented. And perhaps politicians are no exception; we should expect them to lie until confronted with evidence. But it seems there not being much penalty for lying makes this a viable plan. There is penalty for the wrongdoing, but the lying seems to be expected. In an early comment regarding my blog on cheating an individual wrote that people cheat (and lie if I may) because everyone is doing it.

I realize this is similar to the previous discussion, but I am really interested in people’s comments. Of course we have all probably lied at some point. But are you concerned that it is becoming the norm rather than the exception? How highly do you value honesty? What about the games we play when dating? Is that just acceptable? When else is dishonesty acceptable to you? Is it best to just lie until evidence is presented differently? Are you really honest when it is difficult to be so?